There are a few things to be said about Germany. Any country that has that many clocks, cars and cold meats is a curious one. I don’t know about anyone else but I can almost feel my cells lining up and the universe somehow ordering itself when I breathe German air. Maybe I’m exaggerating a little but if Germany was a person, Efficient would be his middle name.  Herr G. E. Wurst.

We recently stood in Frankfurt Airport, feeling a bit delirious from exhaustion and bought ourselves the most expensive train tickets possible to go to Trier.[Note to self: While Before you are in Germany, think like a German. Always book ‘short’ train journeys in advance.] I got bedazzled by the ceiling en route to our platform, lost my husband, roamed around for a while praying I wouldn’t be shot for not knowing where I was but soon the German hum of order reunited us.

Just when I was marvelling at the efficiency of the booking office and praising the public transport system, I noticed a sheepish announcement on all four digital displays in my line of vision. Our train was late. LATE! Oh how quickly the scales fell from my eyes. The world spun into chaos. We might miss our connection that was so perfectly timed!

I fail to mention that our train was really a superhero in disguise. It made up time like a child makes up stories. We bombed through the night at some ridiculous speed, not feeling a thing. The carriage had a digital speedometer in case the passengers needed to do some calculations, check their flux capacitors and sort out minor errors in time. Needless to say, we made our connection.

And guess what? Our train actually started its journey in Vienna, 15 minutes from our door. We probably could have saved ourselves the hassle of flying for a mere €158 each. That is, if we booked in advance.

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