Attack Panic

Growing up has more to do with battles fought on the inside than with the passing of time.

There are events that came with what I thought was ‘growing up’.
With birthday parties, graduation ceremonies, a wedding and a first baby, a lot of life has flown by to make me feel properly ‘grown up’.

Smaller events that mark my road add to this feeling. Getting a driving license, opening a savings account (to, y’know, actually SAVE money from that first salary I got so excited about), buying insurance and using a kettle with a lifetime warranty. [<<How did this happen?!]

The list of roles I play(ed) in the greatest show of my life grows.
To my family, a baby girl to middle kid to rebel child to arrogant youth to girlfriend, fiancée, wife and now to someone new, a mother.
To friends, a sporadic friend.
To my employers, a resource.
To the economy, a consumer, a driver, an asset and a drain.

What am I to myself?
Now there, in defining that, is where the growing up happens. It’s in that honest exploration of my innermost Self that I realise I cannot be me without faith.

Stay with me.
Faith is seeing what is real but invisible.
Faith is trusting.
Faith is pushing past fear and doubt.
Faith is courageous acceptance of something greater than what is staring me in the face.

So, you see, faith for me is an essential part in the process of growing up. Faith helps me to see what I am because it attacks the fear that drives me to be someone I’m not. Growing up is learning to be myself without fear.

Attack panic.

{But HOW?!
If you want to tell me how you attack panic or want to know more of how I attack panic, leave me a comment and let’s talk}


7 thoughts on “Attack Panic

  1. Attack Panic… yes!!! I love this, Ritsya. Thank you.

    • ritsya says:

      Much love for you especially through this time, Barbara! Tempted to panic but remember that Jesus has already won and you’re on his team. Xx

  2. Mairead says:

    Thank you Ritsya. I find it hard to face my demons, to look them in the eye and face them head on. Hearing friends face the same battles makes me feel like this is a little bit more normal! xXx

    • ritsya says:

      Mairead, I am sure that everyone is dealing with something or the other. Some take longer to realise but you’re well on your way. What’s your go-to solution when you feel overwhelmed by your demons?

  3. Elaine says:

    You are awesome! Love this. How does attacking panic look practically for you? Xx

  4. Suhashini says:

    Hi Ritsya, I logged into facebook this morning and pressed the panic button as soon as I saw one. It turned out to be your blog. I’ll tell you why I rushed. I’ve had a few debilitating panic attacks over the last two months – one of them in public, at my yoga class. I have since become a sucker for anything and everything that reads, sounds or feels like these two words ‘panic’, ‘attack’. That also meant I rushed to see what you had written about them words. I now owe you a lot because of the way you turned them around. Yes, I have been instinctively trying to fight the panic (at times mild, at times pronounced), but I really needed to see it written like this – ‘attack panic’. Thank you! I have been seeing a therapist; reading a lot about flight and fight; actively seeking help in stead of trying to be supermum, and this all seems to help hugely. However, the causes of my anxiety are so rooted in my childhood because of trauma I had faced back then, that I realise it will not go away in a snap. I’m happy to talk to you more about it. This is great!

    • ritsya says:

      Wow, thanks for sharing your process. Suhashini, you’re already doing something good to deal with that pesky panic. Letting go of expectations that don’t matter takes time and practice. I hope it’s not too horrible to dredge the past up and see it for what it is. I have found it incredibly hard to deal with the past but writing something true about my present and future really helps me. Often this leads to honest conversations with God and increased quiet inside.

      Sometimes all I manage is one note of thanks and sometimes I write something to brighten someone else’s day. Ironic that self-love has actually been easier by taking the focus off myself.

      I’m still learning but knowing those initial triggers is helpful. I pray peace and much patience for you on this incredible journey of growing up to attack panic. X

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